My name is Earl, I'm 54 and single. I'm not really looking for someone to share my life with, that would only ruin my daily routine which I have grown so fond of.
I wake up at eight o'clock on the dot. Take a shower, drink my coffee and read the paper. I walk around the house to make sure everything is in good shape, and then it's off to the hardware store. I've been working there for 16 years now, it's a small place and I gotten even less business with the new Lowes that just opened down the street. But it's my shop, I make a copy of a key better with my own hands than Lowes would with their high tech laser machine. I get a few dedicated customers that will still stop by every now and then. "Hey Earl, working hard?" and I would reply "Hardly working!"
I bet the workers there don't even know all the sizes of nails like I do. And which are best for which woods. I can only figure that people who go to such a big store like that are looking to get into shape, what with all the walking around they have to do just to get a single item.
Well, after I eat my sandwich for lunch my evening worker walks in and is ready to take over. So I return home, which is only a hop skip and a jump away. To greet my lovely lazy boy by the door. Some men like to lounge back all the way but I like to sit upright, it's better like that if you don't want to get osteoporosis in the spine. I grab my remote to the right of me, turn the TV on, and then I grab the remote to the left of me and turn that TV on. I chose to own 2 TV's and set them side by side one day because I would always watch a program and miss something else, or I wanted to know what the weather was like but I was in the middle of watching a movie. So it all makes sense now.
I usually watch the weather channel, to make sure there isn't no hurricane coming by. And on the other TV I'll sit and watch the news, or all the new products they sell over the TV, and before I know it it's already midnight. So I grab the remote to my left and turn off that TV, and then I grab the remote to me right and turn off that TV. Then it's off to bed, where I will wake up and do the same thing all over again. Does anyone else have it better than that?
OOC: okay can you guess if i made that up, or if i've actually seen someone like that before?